how to make gifting actually happen

Gifting is, like, a big deal.  Everybody's doing it.  Some people might give modest gifts to everyone they know.  Others might present their close friends with lavish, expensive surprises.  From having observed the gifting culture at my school, I know that it is sometimes frowned upon to not participate in all this gifting.  I've been caught empty handed after receiving colorfully-wrapped packages, having nothing but an old lollipop to give in return.

First of all, I don't have the money to buy everyone I know what they've always wanted.  I don't think that's the point of the holiday season, anyway.  It is nice to have a little something prepared, though.  Even though I hopped on the gifting bandwagon a little late this year, I still came up with some prototypes for next year - along with a more realistic concept of how much time it takes to become a prepared, gift-ready ninja.

Two months in advance
Step 1: acknowledge that you want to give gifts.

Step 2: make a list of everyone you want to give gifts to.

Step 3: separate that list into 2 categories - people you are going to give something cute and casual to (your friends and relatives), and people you are going to spend extra time on (your mom)

Step 4: brainstorrrm!!! Are you going to make your gifts by hand (very fun, very time-consuming) or are you going to buy them?

Potential store-bought gifts for everyone:

- mini deodorant

- mini soap

- tinsel

- candles 

- chocolate

- glitter

- stickers

- stationery

- cute beanie baby

Potential homemade gifts for everyone(ish):

Tutorial here.

Estimated time per bracelet: 1-2 hrs

Reserve 1-2 days for every bracelet you intend to make.

Inspired by this guy, Ryan Conners.

Materials I used:

- brown polymer clay

- acrylic paint (many colors)

- clear glaze

- cardstock paper

- scissors

- small knife

- rolling pin

Process:

Design your ornament shape on cardstock paper.  Cut out to make a template.  After kneading (and mixing, if necessary) your polymer clay, roll out a thin layer with a rolling pin.  Lay the template down on the clay and cut around the edges with a butter knife (or smaller tool, if you have one).  Bake the clay.  When cooled, paint on details.  When dry, paint on glaze.  Let dry overnight.

Estimated time per ornament: 20 min

Set aside 2-3 days for mass-producing ornaments

I used the America's Test Kitchen recipe, which was fairly pleasing.  Here is this mom's take on the recipe.

Estimated time per batch: 2 hrs

Set aside 2-3 days for mass-producing cookie plates (keep in mind: these do not keep for a long time in the fridge)

Now go and enjoy the REST OF THE YEAR!  This article may not be useful to you now now, but it will be useful to you sooner than you think! (hint hint)

surviving your super awesome learner's permit

A text conversation with Anna and I:

A: Hello man yes We have our permits!
     'Tis much awesome very yay

Me: I know yaaaayyy!

A: I can see my face on a card
     It feels like a license but it's not

Me: We should write haikus.

       My face is on it
       it feels like a real lisence
       i know it is not

A: Aww it's so sad
     This is my haiku

     I got an LP
     And it's da bomb diggity
    What else does it do?

Me: I like to think that
       when I'm alone with my LP
       it can hear my thoughts

       LP is one syllable.

A: Correction:

     Zoe knows nothing
     LP is 2 syllables
     Anna wins again

Me: LP is like "ulp"
       the COOLEST way to say it
       think twice when with LP

A: "Ulp is spelled like that^
     LP is a different thing
     Zoe is a lie

Me: Back to the subject
       Next time I use my LP
       i ulp in yo face

A: My card is sturdy
     It can slap one in the face
     Next it might be you

Me: But I'm too sneaky
        i make you an LP cake
        and you take a bite

A: Anna senses this
     I shall eat no cake of yours
     You should give up now

Then it kind of teetered off, far from the topic of interest at this point.
Who's wondering what it's like to get a learner's permit?  Anyone?
Well....

It began with a few solid days of reading the driver's manual, which was lengthy and pretty self-explanatory.  We then arrived at the Motor Vehicle Place to take a test (required to get a permit) and hand over all of our precious and personal information.  The Motor Vehicle Place was far from glamorous.  A wide expanse of metal benches stretched across linoleum flooring.  Fluorescent lights above.  Prints of old automobiles were framed on the walls, to remind everyone why they were there.

We all, being teens and adults alike, were assigned a number.  Appointment-making isn't the Motor Vehicle Place's style, so we all sat with our little paper number and waited to be called.  Pleasant music accompanied several computer screens around the room, which attempted to amuse us with random facts about celebrities.  Numbers were called frequently, but there were so many.  I waited an hour and a half before mine was called.

Now sitting in a cubicle, my eyes were checked and my photo was taken.  The cubicle lady sent me to a line in the back of the room which had been there all along, composed of people who's numbers had already been called.  They waited to take the test, and so did I.

Bored yet?  Not yet!

My test was on a computer touch screen, operating at poky speed.  I found myself vigorously tapping each button with my finger, to the point of looking crazy.  My photo was placed on the side of the screen, along with a timer that counted down.  I had exactly fifteen minutes to take the test and would be aware of it, gosh darnit.  These may have been what made me bolt through each (fairly easy) question and barely pass.  But I PASSED!

It's nothing anyone can't do.

surviving your report card

Yes, it's early summer, bringer of indistinguishable weekdays, 4th of July anticipation, electric fans and...

END OF YEAR REPORT CARDSSSSS!!

End of year report cards are no different from regular report cards, except they're slightly worse.  This  brand of grade-listing includes every single exam grade, cumulative GPAs, and total everything.  It's all on the table - and addressed to your parents.  We children are presented with the classic report card situation, at this point, which may entail our obedience to the report card and its wishes.  We hand it to our parents.

If you're like me, this is kind of like showing your parents your paycheck.  It's my business, not theirs.  And yet, they're concerned for me.  They are my legal guardians, after all.  Almost everything that's my business is also theirs.

AND YET, it's like... it's like...

"Honey, do you really make this little money?"

"Would you consider maybe getting another job, to help you with your first?"

"I don't think your passions are paying off."

This metaphor mostly just helps justify my unexplainable anger whenever my parents are dissatisfied with my report card which, if you were wondering by now, is not really that bad.  Never once did I proclaim, "I've stopped caring" this year.

So why do we get so angry when our parents speak wearily of our grades, as if our failure was making them uncomfortable?  

Is it an independence thing?

Do we feel insecure about our grades, and plainly want others to not see them?

I don't know.  I do know that my discomfort on the whole situation evaporated after my dad left the house for a bike ride.  It's gone now, only to come again next year.  

I also know that in the end, my grades will effect only me, and though my parent's emotions cushion what hazy future lies ahead, the grades will determine more than anyone's feelings will.

metro solo

(My attempt at a cool photoshop collage like the ones in ROOKIE Magazine)

Taking your metro/subway system in stride and riding the train on your own is so empowering and SO MUCH FUN!  Throw a few friends in there, too - just NO PARENTS.  I was originally going to create an entirely new blog for the tween age group and center it around this very post, until I realized that tweens (typically aged 11-13) should not ride the metro on their own in fear they may be recognized as children.  That is why I am (kind of) accompanied by my dad in the collage above.  Until I scratched him out.  Because now I am METRO SOLO.

P.S. if you have been Metro Solo for a very long time and find the following information quite obvious, I'm sorry.

How to be Metro Solo (let the phrase catch on):

1.  Where to? (optional)
The train goes places, doncha know.  Use a set destination as an incentive to hop on the train with enthusiasm.  Go to a far-off grocery store, the mall, or even a new town with cool stuff in it.  Meet a friend who you'd have to drive a ways to get to.

2.  Mapping
You may have to walk an intricate path to actually get to the metro/train/subway station, and from that metro station you may end up at another metro station where you may hop on a different train.  It's complicated, and I recommend using Google Maps to get ya through it.  Type the address of your destination into the address bar, making sure to click the little train icon beneath it.  Directions will -tada!!- be provided.

3.  Gear
Why not take use of the handy bike lockers they have at your metro station and bike there?  Another system to get to know!  Also, don't forget a backpack with snacks and maps and phones and stuff in it.

That's about it!  You barely needed instructions.  Have fun mastering your land.  This is YOUR LAND!

surviving summer

Summer can be (and usually is) a good feeling.  It's safe, comfortable, and expects very little of you.

Summer is not always a good feeling.

If you're like me, summer's debut has been BITTERSWEET, mainly due to hour-long periods of nothingness wherein I may analyze my worth as a human and it's meaning.  My solution?

I compiled a list of every single fun summer activity I could think of.  Then, I can kind of hurl myself (and you can, too!) at each activity with such force that I (you) may completely forget my (your) worries all together.

This, in a way, is a method of avoidance, so I would also recommend taking some time to tell yourself that you are certainly not expected to become a better person over summer break and what matters most is that you do not turn into a potato but really just try to enjoy yourself out there and also turn off your brain for a while.

Gee, Zoe, what's eating you?

I will be a Junior next year, and it's really bothering me.  When I was a freshman (which, by the way, felt like yesterday), I saw Juniors as the most well-adjusted of us all.  I idolized them and their confident social lives.  Over the past two years I have come to realize that 

(a) "confident" social lives are not for everyone, 

(b) a lot of people don't have "confident" social lives and don't really give a damn, and 

(c) Juniors are the exact same people they were as freshmen, more or less, they're just a little less bewildered.

So, before my brain came to realize all of this, I thought that over the mere course of two months (summer), I would flower into the Junior I was always meant to be, and everything would be perfect, and it would be all on me to make happen.

So yeah I was a little stressed out and needed a guide to escape my own anxiety.

THUS:

1. Bike to picnic
2. Tye dye
3. Make lemonade (REAL lemonade, the kind that you could totally sell)
4. Rollerblade music video
5. Fancy pool day - good swimsuit, towel, sunglasses, snacks, water slide n' all
6. Backyard campout (don't forget the s'mores bonfire)
7. Sew a pretty dress, skirt, or top 
8. Take METRO to: shopping in the city, picnic in the city, museums in the city, or classes in the city!
9. Hiking day!  Get in the GEAR!
10. Beach day (drive up to the nearest beach, swim the heck out of the beach, then drive back)
11. Water park day (same deal)
12. Eat out for breakfast 
13. Take an early (as in sunrise) morning bike ride
14. Paint on big sheets outside (I have not discovered a purpose for this yet, but have been wanting to do it
15. Buy a can of shaving cream and empty the entire thing into a bathtub, then play with it
16. Go to an Asian supermarket and buy neat candy/pastries
17. Host a dance party with all the best music
18. Go eat sushi 
19. Have the ULTIMATE spa day, no fooling around here
20. See a matinee
21. Try rock climbing
22. Have lunch with an old friend ("having lunch" is a very civilized and satisfying way to do it!)
23. Go to the thrift store 
24. Clean the house
25. Make dashboard cookies
26. Make a day-long video log ("vlog")
27. Make miniature shoebox dollhouses (put your Malibu Stacy in one)
28. Make an obstacle course
29. Make cute things to stuff in people's mailboxes
30. Spend a day reading nostalgic books of your childhood (Like Calvin and Hobbes or The Mouse and The Motorcycle)
31. Speaking of which, do all of Ramona Quimby's favorite activities
32. Make a painting outside (called "plein air" painting)
33. Make a water slide (lay out a huge plastic tarp over a grassy hill, then run the hose over it)

Have fun!

**note** it may not be wise to attempt ALL of these activities - perhaps pick a few favorites.

surviving procrastination

Free time almost feels sweeter when it's not supposed to be free time.  Those first moments home after a long day feel infinitely pleasurable.  The pleasure must never end!  In those moments, it is OK to gorge on all things microwavable.  It is OK to sing "Single Ladies" (yes, in proper quotation) at the top of your lungs and film yourself in the process.  

It is not OK to do this for long.  

You know.

You can't stop.  ("The pleasure must never end!")

You WILL stop.  Here's how!

1.  Step away from the computer

You don't have to start your homework - just step away.  Just get away from it.  You can come back soon.  Just spend five minutes doing nothing.  Away from the computer.

2.  Deal with it.

The only acceptable time to start your homework is now.  All other times are shameful.  Though your stomach cringes at the thought of prying yourself away from nothing at all, this is not a matter of emotion.  This is a matter of survival.  

3.  Face the day's agenda

Look your to-do list in the eye and locate the easiest, dumbest task.  Do that one.  Maybe there are other more challenging items you'd really like to cross off.  Ignore their incessant plea for attention and do your math worksheet.  It's easy.

4. Timer?

Even having selected the easiest item on your to-do list, you still don't feel like doing it.  Start a timer for five minutes and dive in.  When it's gone off, I promise your mind will have evolved into an intellectual genius.  If not, do this a few times

and return to your five-minute method.

5.  At this point

At this point your problem should be solved.  Otherwise, I got nothin'.  JUST KIDDING!  I do believe, however, that the most effective way to rid your body of procrastination is to simply STOP.  

You do (procrastinate), until you don't.  

But hey, here's one last method:

I make bad iMovies when I don't want to do my homework. 

surviving a speech

Speeches are terrifying.  It's a scientific fact.  I know so, because I just recently did one in my english class - and was terrified.  Not just me, though.  I can easily say that almost every kid who stepped to the front of the class, no matter how sociable or confident, was shaking in agony.  

With that, here's how to get through one!

1. Prioritize

Take a look at what else is on your to-do list.  If you've got a unit test on the same day as your speech, study for it first.  While this speech may seem more mountainous than a 50 question formative, it definitely isn't.  

Plus, if you decide to devote ALL of your time to thinking about this speech, you will go insane.  That is also a scientific fact.

2. Practice.  In intervals.

A five minute speech can be memorized in a day.  Heck, it can be memorized in half an hour.  Just make sure you memorize it.  This can be done once after breakfast, once at lunch, and once before dinner.  

With your speech memorized, there is little opportunity to mess up.  

3. Technique!  Technique!

There are many little techniques for getting over anxiety a minute before the speech.  Try whichever of these seems appealing:

-   Do not think once of your peers, or make eye contact with them.  Look directly beyond their heads and to the nice flat wall.  You are alone in this room.  

-   Look at your best friend in the class.  They're easier to talk to.

-   Think of it this way: what you're telling the class is important.  They should know it.  Make sure they do.

-   Tell the class you're nervous, just as you stand up.  Now you don't have to hide it.  Everything is on the table.

-   Stand with your arms out behind your chest, and take a deep breath.  Exhale in "T" sounds (tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh)

4. Just know:

You have no choice but to give this speech.  You must finish it.  You will feel so amazing when it's over, and you might even feel like doing it again.  Giving a speech is kind of like bringing up the courage to ride a roller coaster.  If you do it, you're a courageous warrior.  

This is me giving my first speech in the third grade, by the way.  I am not some ancient speech master, who spoke greatly at the tender age of nine.  I am just reminding us all that speeches are A PART OF US.  We hafta deal with them.